No Longer Abused
A bi-Monthly Zoom Teaching Series

INSPIRED BY Author Kim O'Hara's self-help book No Longer Denying Sexual Abuse: Making The Choices That Can Change Your life

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SESSION Fourteen: Denial Memories

Denial memories is a very specific concept that I introduce in my book that is not often talked about. We have our abuse memories and flashbacks, but what is a denial memory? Triggers related to the person we were in denial can overlap into our evolved persona in recovery and set us back. We can perceive behaviors or reactions as similar to when we were not aligned with our true self. These memories, if we are not grounded, can throw us out of sync with the new version of our life. We can regress back to old feelings of shame and have visceral reactions, even if the person who may have made the comment or initiated the scenario truly meant us no harm. We have to learn how to discern what is stemming from old self and what we can move on from in the newer version of ourselves. We also can feel ashamed of some of our memories, but I can share how I instead reframe them to help me learn and grow as the new me today in recovery.

I am so glad you found this safe teaching space where twice a month for 21 weeks I bring in a Guest Author to teach on the phases of coming out of abuse denial outlined in this book. I woke up from a dream when I was 42 understanding I was molested as a young child, and my whole life changed forever… for the better.

But not right away.

I went through some very painful stages, lost without support groups that could take me on a linear path of recovery or remove a victim mentality. I understood I had to walk through the shedding of denial first so I could write about it in my book, and then teach the process in hindsight.

When we have been abused, our subconscious lies about the truth to us for as long as it can before we are emotionally ready. For some, this is quick, but for many others like me, it took decades to face the abuse, understand the past and find a new voice. By then, I had already functioned as a false persona in so many areas of my life for so long, I didn’t even know who I was. Abuse had altered my original identity and affected the way I handled money, spirituality, friendships, success, and my ability to love myself.

Today I am a thriving writer, mother, book coach and home owner in Los Angeles.

“This book is truly a gift to sexual abuse survivors. Kim delivers a courageously candid and insightful depiction of her devastating experience as a survivor of incest.”

Session Fourteen: Denial Memories

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    What abuse do you identify with?
    Where do your old memories affect you most?

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